6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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