he wants to bone in the snuggie
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize