What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize