She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Less talking, more tequila
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
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He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
God, I missed his penis.
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