so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize