you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize