oh god the rape fog is back!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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