I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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