I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize