omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
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casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
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