Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dear god my vagina.
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