dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
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I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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