Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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