Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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