Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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