our cab driver is having phone sex.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize