The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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