I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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