i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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