I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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