Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
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I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
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When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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