Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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