Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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