Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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