In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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