I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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