No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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