Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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