i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize