When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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