She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
id be glad to
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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