Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize