my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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