if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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