you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize