Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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