I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize