omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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