I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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