i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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