He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize