FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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