My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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