glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize