I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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