Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize