At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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