he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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