Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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