Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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